If God wants anything from us in prayer it is to believe that however He answers, we will accept it as a good gift from a good God .

Last year proved to be a year full of questions as I was forced to face the loss of two very close and dear friends. The first to return to the Lord at the start of 2007 was a young lady in the prime of her life, who had been striving for years to lead a normal life despite having been diagnosed with a kidney disease. The end of the year was marked by the loss of a brother-in-Christ at the age of 71, after a 5-year battle against cancer. In both cases, my friends and their families knew what to do the moment they faced the reality of their life-threatening diseases. They informed the community and the parish, and the whole church prayed. Their families soaked them with prayers. People in the various prayer groups who knew them prayed and interceded for them. They went for healing services and were ministered to by various people. Many of us felt that we were on the verge of a miracle. That healing was just around the corner. But it was not to be. Their deaths left me grappling with many questions: What had we done wrong? Is physical healing a thing of the past? Had we missed something? Does healing in our time only encompass spiritual and emotional healing?

I wrestled with various emotions towards God – anger, disappointment, confusion over His promises, doubts etc. until at the start of this year He led me to Matthew 8:1-3

When Jesus came down from the mountainside, large crowds followed him. A man with leprosy came and knelt before Him and said, “ Lord, IF YOU ARE WILLING , You can make me clean.”

Jesus reached out His hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” He said. “Be clean!” Immediately he was cured of his leprosy.

‘IF' – such a small word but so pregnant with meaning. As much as the leper was convinced of his utter helplessness in the face of this dreaded disease, he was confident that Jesus alone had the power to heal him. But, was Jesus willing? The leper knew that Jesus not only had the power, but also the right, to do as He pleases. God is god because He is both omnipotent and sovereign.

What does it mean when we say God is omnipotent? It means He is all-powerful. He can heal all diseases and empty hospital beds the world over in a mere second. He can wipe out crime and stop the abuse of innocent victims with a mere flash of His eyes. He can stop all wars and end injustice with a mere whisper. He can bring peace to all people and feed the hungry. He can ease our mental agony and eliminate physical death. He can do everything and anything. God's omnipotence is never in question when it comes to freedom from suffering. There is no crisis for which there is no deliverance, since deliverance can come through life or through physical death.

“I am the Lord, and there is no other. I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster; I , the Lord, do all these things.” (Is. 45:6-7)

For He spoke, and it came to be; He commanded, and it stood firm. The Lord foils the plans of the nations; He thwarts the purposes of the peoples. But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of His heart through all generations. (Ps. 33:9-11)

There is no doubt that God possesses absolute, complete, effortless and total power and that no one can oppose Him. Rather, liberation from pain and suffering is a question of His sovereignty. God's sovereignty means that He is in complete control of all creation and nothing can happen without His permission. He is the absolute and final authority in all matters and nothing can touch us apart from His will. He will do anything He wants to do, bound only by His own character. No crime can beset us, no demon can assault us, no problem can come our way, without God's agreement. We are entirely in His hands. In other words, if it is part of His master plan to set a person free from a particular painful situation, then that individual will be rescued; if not, God has another purpose for the life of the person that is guaranteed to bring Him the most glory. It was His will that Daniel be delivered from the lions, that James be beheaded, that angels be sent to escort Peter from prison, that thousands of Christians be martyred in Rome , that His only Son, Jesus, be allowed to suffer the cruel death of crucifixion to satisfy His justice.

The leper understood that Jesus had a right to do with him as He pleased. “If you are willing” is the issue for all of us in any prayer. God has the ability and the power to do what we ask. The issue is not “Can He do it?” He can. Period.

Every prayer hangs precariously on the question “Will You?” This is sovereignty – God's right to answer as He sees fit, His prerogative to do what He pleases. God's omnipotence astounds us but His sovereignty worries us.

The leper came to Jesus because He saw in Jesus love, kindness, compassion and grace. He knew that Jesus cared and wanted to help and heal. So he put himself entirely in the hands of God and said, “If You are willing, You can make me clean.” Praise God that Jesus was willing! But what about those of us for whom healing has not been as simple as this? For those who believe in the healing power of Christ and are fighting the effects of cancer, kidney disease, stroke, AIDS, physical disabilities, the words in this gospel story almost seem to mock them. Healing happened way back then, but it hasn't happened to them. Some of them, like my two friends and their loved ones, have prayed the words of the leper, but instead of receiving a delightful yes, they have received a horrifying no. Is Jesus no longer willing?

Prompted by the Holy Spirit, I asked myself this question : What if Jesus had responded differently to the leper? What if He had lovingly replied, “I'm sorry, My son. It is not my will to heal you, but I want to do something else for you. I'm willing to take you and mould you. I'm willing to work in you through My Spirit and this trial in order to transform you into the most thankful, loving, godly person you could ever be. And because you are suffering from such a dreaded disease, the contrast in your life will be spectacular. I will use you to help others to live in grace and hope of a better world, to endure through their illness rather than dream of escaping from it. And one day, you shall see me face to face. You will know that yes, indeed, I am alive forevermore. I will come to meet you Myself and take you to your true home in heaven, where you will be perfect, complete, whole, and happy forever. There I will answer every question you have about your life in this place and time. There I will right every wrong and lavish upon you great gifts because of your faith. You will be with Me at my right hand forever. Can you live in hope of all this?”

We will never know what the leper would have said to this. Jesus can respond in any way He wants and still be glorified. If he had healed my friends, they would have had a grand story to tell. But even though He chose another plan for them, they still have a grand story to tell in the legacies they left behind – legacies that speak of unshakeable faith, hope, endurance, perseverance, unexplainable strength and courage in the face of insurmountable odds. To the very end, they trusted Jesus to do what was right and best, even if that meant dying. They modeled the trust of Job who said, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.”

God's omnipotence revealed to me that He could have instantly healed my friends when the medical facts indicated that they had very slim hopes of recovery. But God's omnipotence was not in question. The real issue was His sovereignty. Will God get more glory out of a miraculous healing? Or will He obtain more glory from the testimonies of these two beloved friends and their families of His faithfulness and love in spite of the heartache and pain of their situations? Only God knows. But He does know.

We pray in faith, believing for healing, knowing full well God can do anything. At the same time, we submit our request to God's sovereignty. We also pray that God will strengthen the faith of the person who is suffering, so that he or she will cling fiercely to God's promises and not focus on questioning the God's will with regard to their situation.

Whether we experience supernatural physical healing or a personal response to His equally supernatural provision of patience and trust, we are presented with an opportunity to give God all the glory and honour. It is a win-win situation. This principle holds true in every good or bad circumstance that happens to us. In his book ‘Improving Your Serve', Chuck Swindoll states two truths that I have begun to claim for myself ever since I read it:

Nothing touches me that has not passed through the hands of my heavenly Father. NOTHING.

Everything I endure is designed to prepare me for serving others more effectively. EVERYTHING.

Remember the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, the three young men who were thrown into the fiery furnace on the orders of Nebuchadnezzar because they refused to worship his god? Before they were thrown in they told the king, “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and He will rescue us from your hand. But even if He does not, we want you to know that we will not serve your gods.” When they were thrown into the burning flames, Nebuchanezzar cried out in amazement, “Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of the gods.”

Submitting to God's sovereignty keeps us in the position of humble servants, who are available with tender hearts to serve Him regardless of the uncontrollable, life-changing events that help determine our lot in life. Any approach other than that of yielding to His sovereignty leaves us high and dry. Either we drown in self-pity or demand that God serve us at our bidding. And all this at the cost of losing the privilege of seeing the fourth Person in the burning furnace!

God knows our true need. He can deliver but sometimes He won't because He is working all things together for His purpose. We are to respond with humble, child-like trust. From my limited, earthly perspective I thought that God was not fair when he snatched my friends away so suddenly. But He is absolutely just and merciful. I have to keep reminding myself that we are just passing through this period here on earth. While we continue to be responsible with our daily tasks, we have to keep our eyes upon the glory of the hereafter regardless of the seeming unfairness of God in the present.

If God wants anything from us in prayer it is to believe that however He answers, we will accept it as a good gift from a good God. “Lord, if you are willing…” Pray that our eyes will be opened to see His omnipotence, to see His goodness, to see His grace, to see His love and to see His compassion. See Him. And pray with the trust that believes in Him, even when you don't understand what He is doing.